Boss Abilities

By Tatiana Phoenix Sakurai

There’s a belief out there that the current situation with the coronavirus is out of the ordinary, that now, suddenly everything is different, but actually, this has been going on for a long time. Too long, in fact, to be sustainable. And that’s the real underlying fear in a nutshell. The fear that this is but another symptom of a systemic collapse that’s already happening.

Many folks would like to believe that somehow, things will just go back to normal. Whatever that means. But, at the same time, they have a sneaking suspicion that there is an unstoppable force of nature at work that will make that impossible. And that suspicion is correct. There is no going back. We are living in uncertain times and the only thing we know for sure is that things have to change, because, for many reasons, the current way most human-made systems operate in the world is unsustainable.

I don’t have to tell you this, because you already know. We all do, that’s the thing. But the power of our minds to deny, to look away and distract ourselves, to suppress uncomfortable truths is pretty astounding. So that’s the first thing. If we’d really like to boss up and make some more helpful choices, if we’d like to be informed and empowered, we must be willing to know the truth.

If you’re a truth seeker, this is an amazing time to be on the planet, because we are witnessing the unveiling of all the secret, shameful, hidden, undisclosed things that have been denied for a long time. We are seeing the shadow side of humanity in a way we haven’t been able to see before. We are feeling the pain of the disenfranchised members of society in a way we haven’t felt before. We are coming face to face with the inevitable awareness that trauma is actually the norm in systems of abuse and that what hurts one of us hurts all of us.

The Effects of Trauma

Interesting thing about trauma, especially on-going, long-term, complex, or intergenerational, is that it tends to destroy the ability to have healthy boundaries, both energetic and physical. In my many years of working with clients, I’ve yet to work with one who had trauma and didn’t have some kind of immune system dysfunction. Problems with allergies and the respiratory system especially are extremely common.

I sense a link between the collective trauma that has been coming up for healing, the collective grief that is coming up to be expressed and released, and the fact that the current virus outbreak (and many of the most deadly diseases worldwide) are related to the lungs.

Breathing is literally an act of taking the outside world into your body, and then releasing what is inside back out. Breathing deeply and easily takes a certain amount of trust and a feeling of being safe. When the fight or flight energy of trauma gets triggered, the first thing people tend to do is hold their breath or breathe rapidly and shallowly.

I invite you to pause...now...and take a deep breath.

The Divine Alarm Clock

When a crisis or any kind of upset occurs, whether on a macrocosmic world level or the microcosmic personal level, it’s like a divine alarm clock saying, “Wake up!” When most folks hear that alarm go off, they jump to a quick fix to stop the pain. It’s reasonable, right? No one wants to be in pain. No one wants to be upset. That desire for a quick fix, to reach for something outside of us, or someone else to tell us what to do, to stop the pain, is totally understandable. Especially when you know that we have been conditioned to think and behave this way our entire lives.

From the time we are born, we are taught to tune out our own instincts and desires and instead to follow the rules of external authority figures. We are taught by the media and advertising that nothing we do or have is enough. We’ll never be rich enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, or have enough of what we need. At the same time, the authority figures of our parents or teachers punished or shamed us for being too needy, too loud, too inquisitive, too sensitive, too original, too bright, too big, and too smart for our own good. Then we go on to live life feeling like there is something lacking and we wonder why we feel like a failure, why we only experience fleeting or superficial happiness, or why we feel like there’s something inherently and deeply wrong with us.

And none of that is our fault.

And fortunately, we are choosing to change that now.

Embracing the Boss Abilities

It’s no wonder that - until now - it’s been so challenging to really claim our inner authority and to trust that. To trust we are being intuitively guided by our knowing, loving self. To trust that the Universe is supporting us. To trust we have what it takes to do whatever it takes. I mean, why would we trust any authority figure after what we’ve been through?

And yet, this is our opportunity. If we’d like to create a new world, a more beautiful, just, and peaceful world, we must be willing to claim our power, our authority, our choices, and live it on the daily.

It’s not a quick fix. We are in this for the long haul. In the short term it certainly doesn’t hurt to do the equivalent of sanitizing your hands, but hand sanitizer is not going to build immunity and long-term wellness, you dig?

We already know the answers. That’s the thing. We already know the answers. We already have all the resources. We know that long-term wellness and resiliency for the wild ride of evolution we are on together requires simple, daily, low-cost or free practices. Things like meditating, exercising, maintaining impeccable energetic hygiene, making art/music/dance/beauty, connecting deeply with loved ones, being in community, spending time in nature, eating fresh whole foods, getting plenty of rest, spending time healing/feeling our feelings, and drinking water are all no-brainers.

And yet, why are we often resistant to doing them?

You already know the answer. So now it’s just a matter of are you willing to boss up and take charge? If you’re not willing, you already know why on some level: we don’t trust ourselves to take care of ourselves or do whatever it takes because we didn’t have care-takers (whether parents, teachers, pastors, or presidents) who were trust-worthy. In fact, some of them did the exact opposite of give us the love and protection we required as totally dependent children. Also, we probably don’t have the best track record of taking care of ourselves because we have spent a lot of time reenacting the toxic patterns we were taught at our most impressionable stages of development. So how can we learn to trust ourselves?

I think of trust like a muscle. We have to build it up over time. We strengthen it little by little and then we depend on it to be unshakable when we need it. We can start with little things. Things so little that they might seem insignificant. We can start small so that we are almost certainly guaranteed to succeed. We need this success to build trust. Once we have that habit of success going, we can add on. And keeping adding, growing slowly. This is what we needed as kids. We needed daily, consistent practices that taught us how to choose, show up, do our best, and trust that whatever the outcome, we would be okay. We would actually be better than okay, because we would learn and grow.

Nothing You Can Do Is Wrong

That’s the thing. We can’t actually fuck it up, because we always get the benefit of learning and growing. It’s sad that many of us didn’t learn this. We have a lot of grieving to do. We have a lot of old trauma and feelings to process. Things that were too difficult to deal with before. But now we have the tools. Now we have Boss Abilities.

Now we are able to be the inner parent to our wounded inner children. We are able to heal and care for ourselves so that we can be free of the past and the broken systems of oppression that hurt us, each other, and the planet.

I invite you to feel into what claiming your inner authority feels like for you in this moment. What does it look like or sound like to be in full possession of your Boss Abilities?

Now, imagine you can stay in that feeling or vision or vibration and ask yourself, what’s one small step I could take right now? What’s one small choice or decision that I could make today and follow through on completely? What’s one thing I could start with now that would allow me to feel even more empowered, safe, and trusting in a way that feels totally easy and fun?

Anything you choose that is helpful and healing for you will be helpful and healing for the collective too. That’s another thing we’re learning. There’s no separation. We are truly One.

This is our time. Time to go all in. We have each other and Spirit’s got us, one hundred percent. Together we can and will build a more beautiful and just world, step by step, because we are the loving, compassionate, magical, badass bosses the world has been waiting for.

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Tatiana Phoenix Sakurai, is a spiritual counselor and teacher who enjoys dancing, singing, and communing with the realms of nature. She is the author of Lightworker Training: A Practical Guide to Healing with Energy + Consciousness and is one of the co-founders of Cosmic Fire.